Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
