Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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