oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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