You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
