My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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