Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this boner is exhausting
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize