I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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