so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
