Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
