This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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