she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize