so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
