You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is the high leading the old right now
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
