I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
