$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
