that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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