she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
