I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
