I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
