So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
