Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
