dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
