I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
