PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just high enough for therapy.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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