You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
