Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
