I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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