roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
