If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
