Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
