In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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