my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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