he wants to bone in the snuggie
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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