whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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