She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
