Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
