just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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