Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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