just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
