i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I made him laugh his dick is mine
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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