no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize