like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
