Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
