So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
