Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
