Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
