So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
