i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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