Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
