ugly people sure do ruin things
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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