That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
