So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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