Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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