I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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