she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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