I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
