sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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