quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
