Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
