Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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