I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize