Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
